Temptations - The Complete Series Page 17

  Control me, control me. I couldn’t stop thinking those words in my head.

  Finally, after I orgasmed several more times, Slade apparently did the same. He closed his eyes and lay down on top of me, his breathing heavy and labored. I wrapped my arms around him and stroked his hair. He kissed me lightly on my lips and around my face, his tongue gently grazing my lips. “Tell me what your fantasies are?”

  I felt embarrassed to be telling him, for some reason. “Um…” I took a deep breath. “As you know, as you have suspected, I have some issues in my life. My therapist has told me that I feel that I need to be punished because of what happened with my mother. And my issues also are rooted in something deeper; something that I never understood until just recently.”

  “I’m listening.”

  I wasn’t ready to tell him, just yet, about my deep-seated issue, so I stuck to more firm ground. I had already told him about my guilt regarding my mother, so I decided just to relate my dark desires to that. “I have overwhelming guilt, so I used to seek out pain. I went to underground clubs, but not to have sex. I went there because I needed people to hurt me physically. I can’t explain it, except when I feel physical pain, it helps me. I feel that I deserve it, and the physical pain takes my mind off of my emotional issues. I’m trying to work through that in therapy. At least I was when I lived in New York. I haven’t found a therapist here yet.”

  “Sounds familiar.” Then he narrowed his eyes.

  He didn’t elaborate on his statement, and he didn’t go into whether or not he was a dominant, although I had the feeling that he was.

  I felt shy to talk to him all of a sudden. It was difficult for me to admit to these things with somebody that I was interested in. The people in the underground club didn’t judge me, of course, because that was the purpose of the club. Even though I had the feeling, the strong feeling, that Slade was into that just as much as I was, I somehow couldn’t bring myself to talk to him openly about it.

  He kissed my knuckles. “You don’t want that anymore, though, do you?”

  I felt myself blush. “Why do you say that?”

  “You’ve said enough to me to make me think that the intentional infliction of pain is something that you’re trying to stay away from. You’ve talked about making sure that you don’t lose control over your life and your routine, and you’ve talked about how you use running to cope. What does your therapist say?”

  I shook my head. “She says that, for me, it’s a mental disorder, but that’s only because it’s distressing for me. If it didn’t cause me mental issues, then it would be fine that I’m a masochist. But it does, so my therapist has been treating me for that and….”

  I couldn’t believe that I was telling him so much about me. My hidden desires, and my hidden issues, which nobody knew about until recently – yet I was telling him as if I had known him all my life.

  “And what?” he said. “What are you afraid of, Serena?”

  “Nothing. I’m not afraid of anything. I just have to continue with a new therapist and keep trying to figure everything out.”

  Slade smiled. “Serena, it’s okay to not be right with yourself. Most of us have something. I’m really no exception. If you scratch the surface with most people in the world, you’ll find all kinds of different dysfunctions. You can talk to me. I’m more understanding than you might think.”

  It was crazy to me how this conversation was evolving. I thought that Slade and I would talk more about negotiating a BDSM relationship between us, yet he was getting me to open up and admit how much I really didn’t want that anymore. I had to admit to myself that I felt that pain was an addiction, more than anything else, which meant that I needed to stay away from it because it wasn’t healthy for me.

  I closed my eyes, but not because I wanted to tune into Slade’s vibrations. I was trying, hard, to tamp down my rising panic that Slade himself might become an addiction for me. A dangerous addiction, because what if he ended up in prison? What if he didn’t want from me the same thing that I wanted from him? Would I end up self-destructing again?

  “I’m tired,” I finally said. “And I have to get up really early to get this appellate brief done. I would ask you to stay, but that would be disrespectful to Donny and Michael.” That was an excuse, of course. I really just wanted him to leave, because he was getting too close. I couldn’t trust myself around him, and that was really scary for me.

  Slade raised an eyebrow. “I’ll leave, of course, because you evidently want me to, for whatever reason. I’m not buying that your roommates could give shit less if you have a man spend the night with you, so I’m thinking that there’s another reason why you want me to leave. And that’s fine. But know this, Serena. You’re mine. You belong to me. And no amount of fear on your part is going to change that.”

  I felt tears come to my eyes as Slade silently dressed and put on his shoes. I wrapped my sheet around me and sat up in the bed. “I’ll get dressed and walk you out,” I said.

  “That would be great, but really, you don’t have to bother.” He was already fully dressed and he came over to kiss me on the forehead. “Night, Serena. I’ll see you soon.”

  And, just like that, he was gone.

  I immediately felt empty.

  Chapter 17

  The next day, after I went for my run and spent several hours at home working on the appellate brief, I went into work. I was eager to find out what our firm was doing on Slade’s case, more than ever, because I decided that it would be positively devastating for me if our firm lost this case. I could think of nothing worse than Slade going to prison.

  I couldn’t believe how invested I had become in this outcome.

  I went into Malcolm’s office. “I just wanted to get an update on the Bridgewell case,” I said to him.

  “Well, today we are going to interview his sister. We’re hoping that she can be a character witness for us.”

  I cocked my head, remembering that Slade had told me that he was an only child. “Excuse me?” I said. “I’m so sorry; I thought that you just said that we would be interviewing his sister.”

  “Yes. His sister. She lives in San Francisco, but she arrived last night. We’re putting her up in a hotel. Why do you seem surprised? We need character witnesses in case this whole thing goes south and we end up in the sentencing phase. God forbid.”

  I shuddered to think about the prospect that this case would end up with sentencing. The possibility of Slade getting the death penalty was all too real.

  I walked into my office, feeling beyond confused. Slade’s voice from the night before was ringing in my ears. Her only child is accused of a brutal murder and now this. I picked up the phone and called Malcolm.

  “Serena, what can I do for you?”

  “Slade’s mother. Have you been in contact with her? Can she come in as well?”

  “Yes. She’s on the schedule for next week. Why do you ask?”

  “Where does she live?”

  “In Monterey. Why?”

  I closed my eyes, trying to block out the sinking feeling that Slade had flat-out lied to me about where he was those few days. He told me that his mother had pancreatic cancer and that he was her only child. Now, here was Malcolm telling me that not only did Slade have a sister, but that his mother lived in Monterey, not New York.

  “Well, I’m surprised that she’s coming in. I thought that she would be starting cancer treatment soon.”

  “Cancer treatment? I know nothing about that. She certainly didn’t mention it when I talked to her.”

  “I guess I misunderstood,” I said. “I need to put the finishing touches on the brief. Thanks for the information.”

  I turned back to my brief, but I really couldn’t concentrate. Slade had a sister? His mother lived in Monterey? What was going on, and why would he lie to me about something like that?

  He lied because he had something else going on in New York. Maybe he was seeing a woman. What was he really doing in New York?
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  I sighed. I was just starting to think about letting my guard down and let Slade get close to me. Now I felt that I couldn’t trust him at all. Of course, I had no idea how Slade was able to convince his judge that he could go out of town like that if there wasn’t something else going on, something serious.

  I knew that this was going to happen. Slade was occupying my headspace like nobody had ever before. I needed to do my job, and I needed to live my life. I couldn’t worry about him, especially if he lied to me.

  I finally finished the brief, plus all elements that had to go with it, by the end of that day. I sent it to a courier to file, and I packed up to go home. I had no idea what I was going to do that evening, because Slade was inscrutable. He didn’t mention going out when I saw him last night. In fact, he didn’t mention when he would be seeing me again, period. So, I decided to make an appointment with a lady that I learned was showing a house in Pacific Beach. PB, as the locals called it, wasn’t as upscale as Del Mar, Solana Beach or La Jolla, but this place was still close to the beach. The house wasn’t as nice as the other homes that I had my eye on, of course, but that was a plus for me. The more run down the house, the better, as far as I was concerned.

  So, I packed up my briefcase and headed out to Pacific Beach to see my new home. At least, I hoped it would be my new home.

  From the outside, the house was exactly what I was looking for. It was a smallish bungalow that was evidently built in the 1940s, for, from the outside, this house looked like all the homes in the area that were built during that particular decade. I had been inside homes like this, and they were always larger than they looked from the street. This house was baby blue with white trim, and had a well-kept flower garden lining the outside of the home.

  The real estate agent was waiting for me outside the door. She was a fiftyish woman with black hair that was tightly tied in a low ponytail.

  “You must be Serena,” she said, giving me her hand. “My name is Bobbi Dunne.”

  I shook her hand and we both headed inside. It was exactly how I pictured it. Hardwood floors, that were slightly worn, ran throughout most of the home. There was an old-school kitchen with old-school appliances and a vinyl floor. The bathroom was small and had an older toilet, pedestal sink, plus an older style bathtub – complete with claw feet. The tile floor in the bathroom was light blue and looked to be at least 20 years old.

  Still, this was a cute place, and I could see the potential in it. It was a two bedroom, and it also had a sun room that I absolutely fell in love with. I could picture myself in that sun room on a lazy Sunday afternoon, reading a book while the dogs rested at my feet. It also had two bathrooms, one of which was attached to the “master” bedroom that really was about as big as the other bedroom; meaning that it was very small. Well, perhaps cozy was a better word. Every room was hardwood, except for the bathroom, which was a no-brainer for me with my two dogs, and there was original crown molding throughout the house.

  I knew what to look for in a decent house, of course, so I examined the plumbing, the floors, and the walls. I concluded that the house had excellent bones, and, with some cosmetic changes, I could have a beautiful little home.

  The only problem I could see was that the yard was extremely small, but that’s the way it was in all the beach communities such as this one. There was little that I could do with my financial constraints. Bella and Gigi were small dogs, though, so they would still be able to have enough room to run and play a little bit. Granted, this tiny house was nothing like the beautiful mansion that Slade tried to give to me, but that was okay. It would be mine, and I wouldn’t owe anybody anything for it.

  Well, I wouldn’t owe anyone anything except for the mortgage holder, of course. I had the 20% down payment, but I would have to finance the rest. I was actually just fine with this because I knew that I had an excellent credit score and would be able to get a really good rate.

  “What do you think?” Bobbi asked me.

  “I love it. I love the location and the price couldn’t be better. I’d like to talk about possibly closing on this house within the next 10 days.”

  Bobbi beamed. “I knew that you would like this. And you’re right – the owner is motivated to unload this home. He’s looking to move to Arizona to be close to his children. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a lot of time left. He’s been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer.”

  Hearing about the owner’s cancer reminded me of Slade’s mother, who allegedly was also suffering from cancer and lived in New York. New York, not Monterey.

  It was so bizarre. It was a small thing, really, but if he could lie about something like that so glibly, he could lie about anything; including lying about killing Jordan. I hated that I doubted him like that, and I hated that I was unable to get an accurate reading on Slade and his emotions. He apparently was lying to me and he had slipped under my radar. That made him dangerous to me because I literally had no idea when he wasn’t telling me the truth.

  “That’s a tragedy about the owner. I feel bad trying to take advantage of that.”

  Bobbi smiled. “It’s a horrible thing, of course, but it’s good for you. You won’t find another home around this neighborhood for this price. I know that it needs some work, though.”

  “That’s what I love about this house. It has amazing bones and I am so looking forward to renovating it.”

  Bobbi put her arm around me. “Okay, well let’s get started with the paperwork as soon as possible. I assume you have a lender lined up?”

  “Yes. I would imagine that I would be using a conventional lender.”

  We walked outside and then I noticed a red Porsche hybrid. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what kind of car Slade drove because I didn’t pay attention when he came to my house, but the car did look familiar. It looked like a car that might have been on Slade’s property when I went to visit him.

  Sure enough, Slade emerged from the front seat of that car. I felt happy to see him, but also alarmed. How did he know that I was here?

  And he didn’t look happy in the least.

  Bobbi looked at him and then back at me. “Do you know him?” she asked me. Then she squinted at him. “Oh my. That’s Slade Bridgewell. He’s even more handsome in person than he is on TV.” She nudged me a little. “Do you think that he did it?” she whispered.

  “Uh…” I didn’t want to tell her that I was Slade’s lawyer or that I was on Slade’s legal team. I didn’t want her to ask too many questions about the case. I found that I was often bothered by questions about Slade from random people, and, quite frankly, I didn’t want to have Bobbi be one of these people. “I can’t talk about that. I mean, I don’t know.”

  “Well,” Bobbi said. “This is where I leave you. But I’ll be in touch within the next few days. You need to get with your lender and see what you can work out.”

  “Thanks for meeting me,” I said. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Bobbi took off in her Toyota Corolla while I approached Slade. “Hello,” I said. “I have no idea how you managed to know where I was.”

  Slade raised a single eyebrow and crossed his beautiful arms in front of him. “I tracked your phone. I figured that you might be coming here to see another man, but it seems to be even worse than that.”

  “I’m sorry?” I had no idea why he was angry, and to be honest, I was quite put off by the fact that he tracked me down like that. If anybody should have been angry, it was me. “Listen, Slade, even if I was coming here to see another man, that’s none of your damned business. Despite what you keep saying, you don’t own me. Tracking me down by my cell phone strikes me as stalker behavior at best.”

  Slade said nothing but just continued to glare at me. “Serena, you’re going to buy that house, aren’t you? After you told me that you would include me in your decision, you went ahead and left me out of it, didn’t you?”

  I hung my head. I did tell him that he could come with me to see houses. Yet, that didn’t excuse what h
e did. He shouldn’t have stalked me like that.

  “I’m sorry for not inviting you, but, Slade, I found out that you lied to me about New York, and, quite frankly, I didn’t really want to talk to you until I was able to cool off.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You and New York. It’s rich, you know, that you’re so scared that I might be seeing another man – so scared that you are suddenly stalking me through my phone – yet you’re going to New York to see god-knows-who and doing god-knows-what. Yet I can’t peacefully see my real estate agent without you showing up here out of the blue.”

  “I told you what I was doing in New York. I wasn’t lying about that.”

  “Bullshit! Listen, you never said that you had a sister. In fact, you said that you were an only child. And for the record, Malcolm said that he’s asked your mother to come into the office next week. Your mother who lives in Monterey; not New York. So, let me just say that I’ve caught you in a lie, and who knows what the hell else you’ve lied about.”

  Slade’s eyebrows furled and he shook his head. “Okay. If that’s how you want to play it, then fine. Have a nice fucking life.”

  At that, he got into his Porsche and drove off in a fury.

  Chapter 18

  A week went by and I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Slade. I did get to meet his mother, though. She was a doyenne type with helmet hair and long, perfectly manicured fingernails. She wore a dark-colored dress, which was unusual for people in San Diego during the day, and carried a very expensive bag. She reeked of expensive perfume, and when she spoke, her very voice communicated that she was very wealthy. And, although she was very lean and probably didn’t weigh more than 110 lbs, she hardly looked sick. In fact, she looked like she worked out a lot, as her tanned arms were lean and muscular and her posture was very straight. Her calves also looked extremely solid.

  I sat in on the interview, at Malcolm’s request, because he took one look at her and told me that this woman probably was not to be trusted. “So I need you to try to tune into her vibrations,” he said.