Broken (Nick #1) Read online

  I had to work, of course, even when I first started living with him. Even though I was only fourteen, I still managed to find a job at a drug store, after lying to them and telling them that I was sixteen. That wasn’t hard to believe, as I was certainly built like somebody quite a bit older. Jack was having a hard time managing the apartment bills on his own, so I started chipping in. When I was able to start paying half the rent, we started sharing the bedroom – alternating sleeping on the hide-a-bed and sleeping in the bedroom.

  So, Jack literally saved my life.

  Now, there was Nick. As a boss, anyhow. Not as a boyfriend. But the feelings I was having, just being close to him, were terrifying and exhilarating all at once. There was the strong feeling that he was liking me as much as I was liking him, and to say that I was confused at that moment would be understating it.

  I was lost in thought, making copy after copy of designs, contracts and other documents, when Nick came in to check on me. “How’s it going?” he asked.

  I turned around. He was standing in the doorway of the copying room, two glasses of water in his hands. “Here,” he said, giving me one of the glasses of water. “I thought you might be thirsty.”

  “Thanks,” I said, taking the water. Then my eyes fell on the Rolex watch that was on his right wrist. I knew that he was left-handed, so it made sense that he wore his watch on his opposite arm. The watch was beautiful and encrusted with diamonds. Probably my entire yearly salary there at this firm would buy a watch like this. Maybe.

  I also noticed that his hands were elegant and beautiful. Like the rest of him. Long fingers, perfectly groomed nails. He didn’t have a callous on them.

  I suddenly felt like a total dork as I realized that he was bemused by my staring at his hands. I looked up, and he was looking at me with a half-smile on his beautiful face. “What are you thinking about, Scotty?”

  That you are the most physically perfect specimen of man that I have ever laid eyes on. “Nothing,” I said. “I have everything copied.”

  “That you do. You’re nothing if not efficient,” he said. “Come on, it’s lunchtime. Let’s go and grab something.” He put his hand on my shoulder, and my breath caught. “Let’s go get your hat and coat and everything and go to that bistro around the corner for some chow-chow.”

  “Thanks,” I said. I went and got my hat, coat and purse, and then looked inside my wallet. Nick was soon joining me. “Uh, Nick, that bistro is kinda out of my budget. Can we get fast food?”

  Nick looked stunned for a split second. Then it looked like he was about to burst out laughing. “Scotty, my dear, this lunch is on me, silly girl.” Then he shook his head, and tousled my hair. “You’re adorable.”

  “Well, you bought dinner the other night. It should be my turn.”

  “You’re adorable,” he repeated. “Come on, let’s go.”

  We walked along, and Nick took my hand. My heart started pounding wildly, so I had to mentally talk myself down. Calm down, Scotty. He’s only holding your hand. He’s not going to hurt you. He won’t hurt you. He won’t hurt you. He will not hurt you.

  “Oops,” he said. “I keep involuntarily holding your hand. I don’t even think about it. Weird, huh?” Then he dropped my hand. “Guess I shouldn’t be holding my intern’s hand. People might talk.”

  I just nodded my head. I had no words at that moment.

  I wish Jack were here. He would know what to say. He’d make me feel fierce. Right now, I just feel like a dork.

  We got to the restaurant, and I self-consciously put my napkin on my lap immediately. I already knew that I couldn’t attack my food the way that I did before. Which would be harder than ever, because the new clothes cost me so much that I was eating less than ever. Turns out Jack wasn’t joking when he said that we could live on Ramen Noodles and Mac and Cheese for awhile.

  Once again, I gravitated towards something inexpensive. At this place, thank god, there were less expensive things that I could order without guilt. “I think I’m going to go with the chicken sandwich,” I said. “With fries.”

  He smiled. “Honey, you don’t have to order the least expensive thing every time. Trust, I got this.”

  “Oh, it’s not that. I really like chicken sandwiches. Especially if it features avocados.”

  “Okay, then,” he said, looking skeptical. So, when the waiter came around, he ordered the coq au vin for him and the chicken sandwich for me.

  “So,” he said.

  “So,” I said.

  Then I saw him take a deep breath, and look at me. “Scotty, I hope that you can learn to trust me eventually.”

  “I don’t understand?”

  “Your body language…you’re scared to death of me. I can’t quite figure out why.”

  “Oh, no. It’s not you,” I said, perhaps too quickly, “it’s my first day, so I’m very nervous.”

  “You don’t need to be. You’re a star. I hope you come to accept that as well.”

  “I hope I do, too.” Then I looked at him, and decided to be bold and ask him a question that was really none of my business. “Um, Nick. Portia. She, uh, really likes you, huh?”

  Nick blushed. I wondered why.

  “Portia really likes me. You might say that. How did you figure that out?”

  “Well, some of the things she said were pretty pointed. I mean, she tried to cover it up by using double entendres, but her tone of voice told me that she’s pretty pissed at you about something. I figured it was an affair gone wrong.”

  “You certainly are perceptive.”

  I shrugged. “I’m a woman. I know other women. I mean, it really isn’t my business, so I’m sorry to pry.”

  “You aren’t prying. It was something that was pretty stupid of me to embark upon.”

  “Well, you know, you aren’t the first to use poor judgment, and I doubt you’ll be the last.”

  Then he gave me a look.

  If I wasn’t mistaken, it was a look of love.

  Chapter 15

  Nick

  I was sitting across from this woman, and all I could think was that I was falling head over heels for her. There was just no denying it, even to myself. She was probably the most amazing woman I had ever met. Intelligent, unpretentious, beautiful, sweet.

  And guileless. So guileless.

  Even so, she was as out of my reach as Iris was. Because she was completely closed off. Scared. Terrified, even. I had no idea how to approach her. How to reach her. She was an enigma, to say the very least.

  I had to invite her out to dinner with me when Ryan came into town. He had to meet her, assess her, and tell me how to approach her. There had never been a woman that I needed an owner’s manual to figure out, but Scotty would be that woman. I needed an objective eye, and Ryan would be in town the day after tomorrow. Something about interviewing some people for his new animal sanctuary. He was going to be here without Iris, thank god. Seeing Iris would have been the only thing that could have possibly caused me even more confusion about Scotty and my feelings for her.

  “Uh, Scotty,” I said. “Are you busy Wednesday evening?”

  “No, I don’t have special plans. Why do you ask?”

  “You, uh. I’d like you to meet somebody. Somebody who means a lot to me. My best friend from the time I was five years old. I told him about you, about your interning for me, and he wants to meet you.”

  “Oh, of course. He just wants to meet me because I’m interning for you?”

  She looked disappointed when she said that.

  “Yes, because you’re interning for me. Are you interested?”

  “Sure.”

  So, we made plans to meet on Wednesday at Nobu, which was in my neighborhood. I would have my driver pick her up, of course, knowing that it was somewhat rude to make her go across town, when I only have to walk to the restaurant, but that was the place that Ryan had picked.

  I was counting on him to assess her and tell me what to do. Because I honestly didn’t know. I kne
w that this was a woman who was special, and there was definitely potential for the two of us to be much more than what we were. But, at the same time, there was something up with her. Something that she wasn’t willing to tell me. Perhaps she would feel more comfortable with Ryan. Everybody always loved that guy, and what was not to love? Super nice guy, even though he has had more of a fucked up life than anybody I had ever known.

  After lunch, I walked her back to the office, trying hard to resist the temptation to hold her hand as we strolled along back to the building. When we got back to the office she went back to work doing her copying and going around and talking to everybody in the firm, most of whom had some kind of grunt work for her to do. I didn’t really see her for the rest of the day, but I found myself thinking about her about every five minutes while I worked on my designs for the big project we had. I had to get this done, because there would be another meeting in a week, so they expected to see good progress.

  Yet, I couldn’t take my mind off of that girl.

  So, there was one thing that I absolutely knew I had to do. Something that I wasn’t looking forward to, but was way overdue.

  Chapter 15

  When I got home that evening, I called Penelope. “Penelope,” I said. “Let’s have dinner tonight at the Tribeca Grill.”

  “Sure. Do you want me to bring Amber, Missy, or Lance?”

  “None of the above. Come alone.”

  So, that evening, we met at the Tribeca Grill. She came in, looking her glorious self, every head in the place turning. She was dressed in thigh-high boots and a tight black mini-dress that she carried off extremely well. She sat down across from me, shedding her coat. “God, I need a cigarette. What a long fucking day. I swear to god, doing photo shoots for Calvin is like the ninth circle of hell.” She looked at the menu. “I’m gonna go with the New York Strip Steak, pan roasted wild mushrooms and sautéed spinach. A rare seared tuna appetizer. And a dirty martini as big as my head.”

  When the waiter came around, I ordered for the two of us, me ordering the Seared Sea Scallops with the parmesan creamed escarole and apple roasted Brussels sprouts, and her getting what she just told me to order. And a scotch rocks for me.

  I was going to need it.

  “So, how’ve you been?” I asked her.

  “I told you. Sometimes I hate what I do. Do you know how hard it is to sit still while people primp over you all fucking day long?” She shook her head. “We really should be getting hazard pay.”

  “Yeah. Because being a top model is a lot like being a cop, a firefighter, or a soldier in a war.”

  “I agree,” she said, completely not getting my sarcasm. “So, Amber was wanting to come over tomorrow night. She really has a thing for you. And me. And us.” She giggled. “For that matter, so does Lance.” Lance was a male model, of course, who had joined us in a few three-ways.

  I was chomping at the bit to give her my speech, but I wanted to wait until after dinner. No use ruining a perfectly good Seared Sea Scallop.

  So, I humored her. “Sure, let’s all get together sometime.”

  “Not sometime. Tomorrow night,” she said as the tuna appetizer appeared. She took a tiny little bite, then pushed the plate aside.

  “I teach. Remember?”

  “Of course. You get off at 9. We do our usual late night.”

  “Penelope. I’m working long hours at the office, in addition to my teaching. When do I sleep?”

  “You’ll have plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead. In the meantime, you got me and Amber. And Lance. And Caroline. And any number of male and female models who would love to get into your pants and enjoy your beautiful, beautiful, enormous package.” She brought the olive to her mouth suggestively and licked it, while giving me the seductive look that she practically patented. “Besides, your Bank of America project can wait.”

  “Chase.”

  “Chase what?”

  “I’m working on the new Chase building.”

  “Chase, Bank of America. Whatever. Same difference.”

  The temptation was strong to cut her loose right that very minute, and not wait until after dinner. At that very moment, she was very ugly to me. Extremely ugly. She resembled one of my Francis Bacon paintings of the hideous creatures, because her soul was so dark.

  Funny how I didn’t see it before.

  “So,” I said. “Ryan’s going to be in town in a couple of days.”

  “Ryan. From the pictures?”

  “One and the same.”

  “Oh my god. That man is beautiful. Jesus fucking Christ, you have to get him to join us.”

  “He’s married, remember? Happily married.”

  “Married, schmarried. Tell him I’ll help him have the time of his fucking life while he’s here.” She shook her head. “He missed his calling. He could’ve made a fortune with that face.”

  “I think he’s doing just fine.”

  “Even so.” Then she got out her cell phone, and I immediately regretted even telling her about Ryan. “Amber. You’ll never guess who’s visiting Nick in a couple of days….Ryan. You remember seeing his pictures in Nick’s apartment?...Yeah….a four-way would not be out of the question.”

  At that, I snatched the phone out of her hand. “Amber. This is Nick. Ryan is not interested in any kind of four-way.” And at that, I simply hung up.

  Penelope was giving the stink-eye like she never did before. “You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?”

  “So I’ve been told.”

  I flagged down the waiter. “I need another scotch rocks. Make it a double.”

  Penelope was staring at me in shock and awe. “Asshole. Did you bother to notice that I’m dry over here? Now I have to flag down the waiter for my drink.”

  “I did notice. I just didn’t care.”

  Her mouth just flew open in shock that I would be talking to her in that way. She was two seconds from making a scene, which would be embarrassing for me, because this was kind of a neighborhood restaurant for me. People knew me here. But, at the same time, bring it on, I thought. It would make what I had to do that much easier.

  But she didn’t make a scene. She flagged down the waiter for another martini, and then brought a mirror out of her purse and looked at it, studiously ignoring me while doing so. Then she brought out her phone and started looking at it, evidently texting somebody. Every so once in awhile, she smiled as she looked down at her phone.

  Meanwhile, I just sat there, looking around the restaurant. How I wanted Scotty there sitting across me from instead of this…creature. Penelope wasn’t even human. She was some kind of physically-perfect evil cyborg coming back from the future to destroy me.

  Finally, after three more scotches for me, and four more dirty martinis for her, our food arrived. Penelope looked at her food with disdain. She took a few bites, which is usually about how much food she can consume in any given meal, and then put the plate aside. “That’s all I can eat, unless I want to spend the rest of the evening gagging myself.”

  I didn’t care. I dug into my food with gusto. I was going to finish my meal before lowering the boom. And lowering the boom was getting easier and easier to do.

  Then I got an idea. I ordered from the waiter a Pistachio Crusted Swordfish, whipped potatoes and sautéed spinach to go. I’d get Charlie to drive it over to Scotty.

  God knew that girl needed more full meals.

  “Who is that for?” Penelope demanded after I placed my order.

  “It’s for Scotty. My intern. She needs to eat more.”

  “Since when do you go out of your way to send meals to your interns?”

  “Since now.”

  Her face softened. “Well, maybe Scotty can join us in one of our romps. What does she look like?”

  “She’s beautiful. But she’s not like that. She’s a nice girl.”

  “Well, I was going to be jealous of her, but not now. Because god knows you don’t like nice girls.”

  “I like this one.�
�

  “What are you saying?”

  “Just a second.” I wanted to get that food on its way to Scotty before lowering the boom. All ducks had to be in a row. So, I flagged down the waiter and I gave him a hundred dollar bill. “That’s for you. Was wondering when that to-go order is going to be coming out.”

  “It’ll be right up,” he said. And I knew that he was right about that.

  And, sure enough, the food came out in the next two minutes. Then I called Charlie to come in and get the food to take to Scotty. I smiled when I imagined her face upon seeing the meal. Yeah, it was late, but I was quite sure that she would be more than appreciative of the gesture.

  I sent Charlie on his way. And it was finally time to tell Penelope what I had been dying to tell her all evening.

  “Penelope. We’ve had our fun. But it’s over. Sorry.”

  Her mouth flew open and her eyes got wide. She looked like it was the very first time that she had ever been dumped, and, for all I knew, it was the first time. “What??” she said, “fuck you.”

  “Been there, done that.”

  “So, you brought me here to do this. You think that I won’t cause a scene because we’re in a public restaurant and Page Six will be all over that shit in a heartbeat?”

  “Something like that.”

  I called her bluff. She sat there, steaming, and giving me the look of death. She obviously was contemplating the possibility of making a scene. But I was betting that she would back down in the end.

  I was right. She just got up and left without a word.

  And I immediately felt 1,000 times lighter.

  Chapter 16

  Scotty

  I rode the subway home from my first day at my internship with a song in my heart. I smiled to myself a secret smile while I listened to Bruno Mars, Muse and Eminem on my iPod. Today went extraordinarily well, even though I didn’t do much. The fact of the matter was that I got through today without feeling like I was going to fall apart. And I even let Nick touch me. Yeah, it was only my hand, and it was brief, but it was still a touch, and it was more than I had ever willingly let any guy touch me except for Jack. I felt, perhaps for the first time in my life, that I was going to be okay. Normal. At least there was a chance for me.