Temptations - The Complete Series Read online

  We finally climbed out of bed that evening, our hunger for food finally overcoming our hunger for one another. I didn’t feel that it was possible, anymore, to sate my desire for this elusive man, but I certainly had to try.

  And, one thing was for sure – I wasn’t going to be able to give Malcolm any accurate reports on Slade, for he had consumed me and occupied a space inside of me that was sacred. I couldn’t sort out my feelings for him, and I really couldn’t separate my white-hot passion that was burning inside of me, from the job that I was hired to do.

  So, as we had dinner on the terrace, which consisted of rice pilaf, beans and veggies for me, and salmon for him, served with the most delicious mimosas on the planet, I broke the news to him. “Slade, I think that what happened this afternoon undermines everything that I was hired to do. It was incredibly unprofessional of me, and I really don’t have any choice but to call Malcolm and tell him that I need to come home.” I hung my head. “I’m really embarrassed that I let it come to this.”

  He put his hand on mine. “You can’t leave,” he said, his eyes boring into me. “And you don’t want to.”

  I shook my head. “Of course I don’t want to,” I said. “That goes without saying. But I need to.” I felt the familiar anxiety welling up. “Malcolm is paying me good money to come up here and try to get inside your head. To tease out what you’re thinking and feeling, and come up with a narrative about whether or not you’re good for your partner’s murder. There’s no way I can do that job now.”

  I knew that what I was saying to him was the absolute truth. I was now a biased observer, and any evidence that I gleaned from him was going to be skewed in favor of his absolute innocence. Knowing that, there was no way that I could ethically continue to let Malcolm pay me to get at the truth. That would be not only wrong and deceitful, but also grounds for my dismissal from the firm.

  That is, if the fact that I slept with our client didn’t already doom me.

  He put his hand on my wrist, and then turned it over. He lightly brushed the faint scar that marked me. “You have secrets,” he said. “And you love pain. I understand that. I understand you. You can leave if you want to, of course. I won’t hold you here. But I think that you know that you’ll be back. Either I’ll come to you, or you will come to me. But we will be back, making love and fucking like we did all afternoon.”

  I bit my lip, scared to get at what was underlying his message to me. He loved to give pain as much as I loved to receive it. I shook my head, knowing what that might mean.

  Perhaps he loved to give pain only to women who he bedded.

  Or maybe he loved to give pain in general.

  Maybe that’s what really got Jordan killed.

  Chapter 9

  The next day, I packed my bags. Slade had given me a proper send-off, in my estimation, as he and I ravaged one another late into the night. It started after dinner, as he picked me up, as if I was a feather, and brought me into his bed.

  “If you’re really going to leave tomorrow,” he said, “then we need to get as much fucking in tonight as we possibly can. I want to leave my mark on you, so that you don’t feel the need for anyone else. Because you’re mine now. You can’t possibly belong to anyone else. Not until I release you. And hopefully I never will.”

  So, we spent the evening and night just consuming one another. I didn’t think that anybody could brand me in quite the way Slade did that night. So, I knew that his words were true. I was his, hopelessly his. He possessed me in the way that nobody ever had, and I had no need for anyone else to possess me. His touch scorched me in such a way that I positively felt branded.

  So, when I packed up to head back home, I felt sated for the time being. But I knew that there was going to come a time, not so far in the future, where I was going to feel an aching need for him. I hoped against hope that he was right – he would come for me. I was terrified about what I was going to do if he didn’t.

  I got the dogs out of their yard out back, where I sent them to play while Slade and I had our fun indoors. I harnessed them, leashed them, and brought them to my SUV. Their little bodies were delighted to see me, of course, and they covered my face with kisses. I inhaled them, finding comfort in them. I might never see Slade again. More likely, I would see him, but in a professional capacity only – assuming that Malcolm didn’t fire me when I told him the truth about what happened between Slade and me.

  So, what happened between us the past day or so was probably something that wouldn’t be repeated. I had to let it go, no matter how much I was possessed by him and attached to him. I knew the reality of the situation, and that was that the odds were against us sustaining anything lasting.

  But Bella and Gigi were two creatures who I knew that I could always count on. They were ready with unconditional love, as only dogs could give, and I found great comfort in that. They weren’t prone to vagaries or capriciousness as men like Slade were. They definitely were not full of deception, as humans often were, and as Slade might be. They just were, and that’s what I needed more than anything in my life.

  I put them in their kennel in the back of the SUV, and I opened the door. Slade wrapped his strong arms around me tightly. “Don’t go,” he said, as his hands were massaging the back of my head.

  “I have to. I can’t stay here on Malcolm’s dime. That wouldn’t be right, and I have to face the music for what I have done.” I was going to be strong and invincible. I had the capability of walking away from Slade, of freeing myself from the destructive bond that was starting to form between the two of us. He had an aching need to inflict pain. I sensed that, and I caught fleeting glimpses of it. I had just as aching of a need to suffer pain. He knew that about me.

  I had to walk away. My plan was to tell Malcolm, and then suffer the consequences. If he fired me, he fired me. I still had enough money saved up that I could close on a home, although the home was going to be in a less desirable area of San Diego, and it was going to be in worse shape than I had hoped. But I could still get a home, and I could live there until I found something else. In the meantime, I would throw myself into beautifying any home that I would find, and let that occupy my headspace. Drawing up home improvement plans and carrying them out, one board and pipe at a time, would be something that could consume me so that I wouldn’t be aching for Slade’s touch every minute of every day.

  Of course, the ideal situation would be that Malcolm would understand what had happened between Slade and me, and would forgive me.

  Then again, that would mean that I would, for sure, have continued contact with this man who had possessed me and branded me, in a matter of days. It would almost assure that I would give in to my own dark desires, because he wanted to fulfill them. The hints that he would be more than willing to fulfill them were sprinkled throughout last night. I would be sucked into something that I swore I was going to leave behind, and there would be no turning back.

  As he leaned his head into the car, and kissed me passionately goodbye, I found that I was warring inside. There was a part of me that didn’t want to leave, that wanted to shirk all my responsibility to my firm, and just forget the world around me. Forget that Slade was facing a murder charge, and forget that Malcolm would fire me for sure if I continued to stay there without admitting the truth to him..

  But the responsible part of me won out. “Thanks for everything,” I told him. “Goodbye.”

  And, at that, I put the car in gear and drove down the winding path, where the familiar hoards of reporters camped out, just beyond the gate. As I made my way through the throng, with the reporters attempting to thrust their microphones into my face, I simply said “no comment.”

  Just like that, I was free.

  Chapter 10

  I got into San Diego in the early afternoon, and I called Malcolm’s cell phone. “It’s Serena,” I said to him. “I need to see you.”

  “Serena,” he said. “I was going to wait until tomorrow to call you. How are things in the ci
ty of Angels?”

  I took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t know.”

  He was quiet for a long time. "Serena, I don't like the sound of your voice. What's going on?"

  "Can we meet somewhere for lunch? I really need to just talk to you."

  He sighed. "I guess I can take a long lunch. Meet me at The Fish Market at noon. I'll get a table outside." Then he paused. "It sounds like I'm going to be needing a Bloody Mary for this meeting with you. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not going to be in the least bit pleased with what you're going to be telling me?"

  I didn't say anything. I had no desire to tell him over the phone what had happened between Slade and me. I had no desire to tell Malcolm, period, but I really didn't want to blurt it out over the phone while I was driving.

  "I'll see you at noon," I said. Then I called a dog daycare place and arranged for Bella and Gigi to be dropped off.

  "What time will you be picking them up?" a pleasant-sounding female asked me when I called the place.

  "I don't know," I said. I didn't want to explain to her that I might be picking up the dogs very soon. That would be if Malcolm fired me on the spot. Then again, maybe it would all be smoothed over, and I would be returning to work. "It might be around 2, then again, it might be around 7 or 8. I hope that's okay."

  "Of course," she said. "But if the dogs stay past 6 PM, we have to charge you for another day."

  "Okay," I said.

  "It won't be like that if you start bringing your pooches over daily. We try to work with our regular customers who keep irregular hours. We'll talk about that when you drop them off."

  I got off the phone, and tried to concentrate on the road. It was difficult to do, though. I had never, in my life, had such satisfying sex as I had with Slade. He just seemed to know exactly how to make me come, and come hard. He was a sensuous lover, yet he injected just enough roughness that it made it exciting for me. I felt my nether parts tingling just thinking about the hours we were ravaging each other.

  Then I shook my head. I was going to have to forget about him, and forget about the way that he made me feel. There was a very good chance that I would never see him again, if Malcolm fired me. And, even if I stayed on at the firm, Slade was our client. Our client. A torrid affair with him could get the entire firm in hot water, potentially.

  Whatever happened, he was going to be off-limits to me from that point on.

  After dropping off the dogs, I headed over to The Fish Market, which was in the harbor. I parked the car and walked past the enormous statue that was modeled on the D-Day kissing couple. The infamous pose of the sailor kissing a random woman while he bended over her, was made into this statue that stood watch over the restaurant. I loved that statue, and it meant something to this town that had been a naval city for many years. It still was, but it didn't have as large of a base as it used to, but the vestiges of the military were still everywhere I looked.

  Walking in, there was a large crowd of people who were milling about in the waiting room, looking at the menu. There were fish in aquariums, and also a small place where the restaurant-goers could purchase fresh seafood for themselves. This was an enormous restaurant, and I always enjoyed either sitting in the glass-covered patio or the open patio, because you could look out onto the water and see sailboats passing by.

  I headed back to the open-air patio, and found Malcolm who was, just as he said, already nursing a Bloody Mary. He saw me and stood up. "Good to see you," he said. "I got here early so that I could start drinking early."

  I smiled, in spite of myself. "I would tell you that my news isn't as bad as all that, but...." I raised my eyebrows and sat down.

  "It is as bad as all that." Malcolm stated that as the fact that it was. "Well, Serena, you got me here. Let's have it."

  I took a deep breath, and nervously cracked my knuckles.

  "Ouch," Malcolm said. "Why do you do that?"

  I shook my head. "Bad habit. One of the few bad habits I have left."

  The waitress came around and I ordered a gin and tonic. We both ordered our food, too. I got the veggie roll and grilled edamame, and Malcolm ordered the surf and turf. "I know I'm going to regret getting all this food and alcohol for lunch. It's going to put me right to sleep."

  I didn't want to say it, but he was absolutely right about that. Heavy food and alcohol usually were a deadly combination in the middle of a work day.

  Malcolm and I then just sat there, looking at one another. I felt humiliated and ashamed of what I was going to be telling him. He was going to be livid, absolutely livid. I knew that. I cursed my body, which betrayed me. And, what was worse, it was continuing to betray me. I could still feel the heat on my skin where Slade had touched it. I still could feel the aching in my nether parts for Slade. I swallowed hard, and tried to put all that away. All those feelings, which had come cascading out of me while Slade made love to me, again and again, were not welcome to me anymore.

  I finally took a sip of my gin and tonic, which the waitress had just brought, and sighed. "Well. I don't know how I'm going to tell you this, so I guess I just need to tell you. I had sex with Slade." I shook my head, not meeting his judging eyes. "I had sex with him, and, well, I'm useless now. There's no way I can be unbiased on this. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't want for it to happen, either. But I have strong feelings for him, so, even if he was guilty as the day is long, I wouldn't be able to tell. I'm human."

  Malcolm sat there, mulling over my words. He didn't say anything for a long, long time.

  I had no idea what he was thinking, and, when I closed my eyes, I got a read on what he was feeling. At first, I felt rage bubbling up. I could feel it, and it flooded over me. My heart started to quicken, and I felt rage as well. I started breathing heavily, willing myself to turn away from the feelings that I was getting from him. That was the worst part of being an empath – when someone close to me was feeling negative feelings, I felt them as well. I felt them just as strongly as that person was feeling them. I closed my eyes, and consciously turned away from his rage. I had learned to do that as a coping mechanism – I could turn off my empathic feelings as quickly as I turned them on.

  I blinked my eyes, and Malcolm was still staring at me, but his expression was different. I, once again, tried to tune into how he was feeling, and I no longer felt that he was enraged. Rather, he seemed to be calm and thinking about things.

  Finally, he spoke. “Well, Serena, I must say that I’m surprised that you would do that. You weren’t up there but a matter of days. I didn’t peg you to be somebody who got around like that.”

  That was an insult, but I let it slide. After what I did, I deserved it. “Malcolm, I’m not like that. Truly, I’m not.” I didn’t tell him about my past, how I was like that at one time. When I was hurting so much, and I had no idea where to put that pain, I was like that. I never sought sex, though, only physical pain. Physical pain which was given to me in various underground clubs. “I haven’t had sex in a long time. Not that that’s any of your business.”

  “I don’t understand. You don’t sleep around, yet you ended up in the bed of our client, not three days after you arrived there. That doesn’t compute.”

  I sighed. “I know that doesn’t compute. Believe me, I know. But I can’t explain it, except…”

  “You lost all self-control,” he said. “Hey, I’m human. I get that. I try to tame my own dark side, but it doesn’t always work. But, Serena, there could be serious implications here. I don’t just mean the implications that will come from the fact that you won’t be able to get a good empathic reading on this guy. But we’re going to be open to a bar complaint or malpractice claim if things go south between the two of you.”

  Malcolm seemed calm, which was weird to me.

  “Well,” I said, taking a sip of my gin and tonic. “I’m guessing you would like for me to resign. And I totally understand it if you do.”

  He put his hand on his chin and studied me
. “No, Serena, actually, I was thinking the opposite. You’re under his skin. That might actually work for us, not against. What’s done is done. I’m just trying to figure out how to mitigate the damages and turn this around to a positive. There’s always a silver lining.”

  “What are you thinking?”

  He shook his head. “Serena, you could still be valuable. You could remain in a relationship with this guy, and then report to me any kind of pillow talk that might occur.”

  My eyes got big. “Malcolm, you can’t be serious. I’ll be committing all kinds of ethical violations by remaining in a relationship with him, and there’s no way that I can do that to him. I think that I know what you’re getting at, and what you want me to do is exactly the reason why sexual relations between clients and lawyers are frowned upon.”

  “You know what the rules are. The federal rules, of course, state that you can’t have a sexual relationship with a client, period. But we aren’t operating under the federal rules. We’re operating in the State of California, and, as you know, in California, sexual relationships between clients and attorneys are only forbidden if you are using the sex in lieu of payment or if you use coercion to enter into the sex.”

  “It also forbids sexual relationships when the sex might cause the attorney to perform legal services incompetently. And that’s a real fear here with me.”

  “Simple. If you feel that having sex with this guy will make you feel like you’re going to commit malpractice, then you have to stop it. But, Serena, just because you’re having sex with him doesn’t mean that you’re going to perform incompetently. And it just might be the best thing, because you’re going to make him vulnerable. If he falls in love with you – “